Straight Talk About Homosexuality

Straight Talk About Homosexuality

Lord, I seek to love others the way you have loved me—completely and unconditionally my entire life.  There is a lot of hurt and hatred in our land; I can’t say I totally know your mind in this situation, but I believe what you told us; You Are Love, and You so loved the world that you died for us, and whosoever believes can come and find love that will take an eternity to fathom.  May you use this writing to bring healing.

1.      Nothing Gay About It

  I dug out an old dictionary and looked up the word gay, and it said, “a merry, gleeful mood.” I then logged onto dictionary.com, and the first definition was, “pertaining to, or exhibiting sexual desire or behavior directed toward a person or persons of one's own sex; homosexual.”  How the word evolved from “donning our gay apparel at Christmas” to “fighting for gay rights and gay marriage,” is not important, but I do remember a friend of mine who came from a homosexual background saying to me, “I have no idea how we came to use that term because there is nothing happy or merry about it.” He said this many years before “Gay Pride” was popular.  I believe his comment applies to what is currently in the air in our country. The politicians are exploiting the issue and it is reaching fever pitch.  This has caused a lot of anger, hate and misunderstanding on both sides of the issue. Because of the Biblical Laws against homosexuality, the fight has intensified and seems focused on Christians vs. Gays.   After careful consideration and prayer, I have decided to address the issue hoping to alleviate some of the hatred that exists.  I will most likely anger people on both sides of the issue, but I believe those with an open mind might find some peace, and thus, create a more peaceful nation.  I will first address my brothers and sisters in Christ-the “Christian Community.”   Then, I will also address the “Gay Community” as a whole and then a growing number of Christians who identify themselves as gay.

     After the recent Supreme Court Decision on the DOMA and Gay Marriage becoming legal in some states, many Christians are now declaring that God is going to judge America.  It seems that whenever the Gay Community makes political gains, God’s judgment is going to come. I find this interesting.  Why haven’t we said this about all the greed and corruption in business and politics that has been getting worse each year? Why didn’t we say that when the Jim Crow laws were in place and black folks were getting lynched? What about some of the TV preachers who rob folks blind?  Why is homosexuality the one button that if pushed, God will judge us?, Christians seem to get hung up about sexual sin more than any other, but I think the judgment issue might go back to the account of God’s judgment on Sodom and Gomorrah.  God judged those cities because of the wickedness, which evidently included homosexuality, but to be honest, I am more appalled at Lot’s willingness to give his daughters to the men rather the men being homosexual.   And God called Lot righteous!! Nowhere in the account of Sodom and Gomorrah does it say God judged these cities for homosexuality specifically. However, it has been coming preaching that it is our job to “take a stand against the sin of the Sodomites.” So, when I contemplate the “judgment” issue, I think I hear this coming from some of my brethren, “Knock it off you gay people; get your act together. I love my creature comforts, my religious entertainment on Sundays and my favorite TV shows. God has blessed this country, and you are going to screw it all up!”  The teaching that God is going to judge America for political decisions for the Gay Community is faulty thinking based on fear, and it is really unfair to project your own fears onto a particular group. Moreover, we live in the Age of Grace where God’s judgment of sin was settled in the cross of Jesus Christ; when we leave the cross out of our message, we are declaring the Law of Moses, not the Gospel of Jesus Christ – the two are radically different when it comes to how God relates to man. Believers are called to declare the Gospel of Jesus Christ, not the Law of Moses.  So, let’s be careful not to speak for God that which He is not speaking. Let’s be careful to “rightly divide the Word of Truth” and make a clear division between the Old and New Covenants.  The Law mentality limits the love of God.  It suggests you could get to the point and sin so much God won’t love you anymore. Does that point exist? Not according to the Gospel of Jesus. Like everything else in our lives as Children of God, it comes back to the cross of Jesus Christ.  We wear crosses as jewelry and adorn our church steeples with it, but in reality, the cross was one ugly, bloody mess, and here, we see there is no limit to the love of God.  In Christ, we had God here, right in front of us, and we mocked Him, spit in his face, beat Him, subjected Him to a kangaroo court, and then murdered Him, and He never stopped loving a single person. We have the answer in Jesus-you can mock God, spit in His face, and seek to murder Him and His love for you will abide on and on.  This same mercy and grace applies to the Gay community who has been told that unless they change, the Grace of God is not for them; they have “out-sinned” the Grace of God.   The Gospel is indeed Good News.  We are to proclaim this Gospel and leave all judgment to God.  For some reason, the message gay people have received from us is they are condemned.  If they have received Christ as their Savior, they are not condemned, end of story, but only the beginning.

2.     Stereotypes are Sacred Cows

As a new Christian, I bought into catch phrases, stereotypes of cause and the simple solution approach to homosexuality.  After years of pastoral work, friends and family coming out of the closet, and understanding the Scriptures more clearly, these approaches do not work anymore.  Yes, “God made Adam and Eve, Not Adam and Steve,” but Adam fell and gave us a sin cursed world and sin cursed bodies that are falling apart.  The idea of a man being gay because of a domineering mother, absent father or abuse from a perverted adult has been blown out of the water by friends and counselees who do not fit any of these stereotypes; in fact, some come from pretty intact families.  Likewise, the simple solution of turning from your sin to God for instant change is faulty because I have counseled some who have begged God to change them and agonized to the point of being suicidal about their “bent”.  And since they often hear from the church they are condemned to hell, they get very pissed off at God “for making them gay and then condemning them.”  They shut what they think is God’s voice out of their heads or seek out a “non-Christian” approach to God.

 If a Christian wants to see it as a “black and white” issue believing they do not owe any compassion, they need to see their inconsistencies.  We appear ignorant and ineffective when we when we act like that. I have had people tell me they “were born like this.” The traditional answer would be, “God does not make a homosexual! Well, people are born with Autism, Down’s syndrome, etc. and we believe “God had a reason for it.” But we don’t even think of saying that for someone who is Gay.   One reason is because we can quote the Bible.  Leviticus is often quoted to show that homosexuality is wrong.  Under the Hebrew Law given to Moses in the desert, homosexuality is called an abomination.  There is no getting around this fact. However, this appears in the same context that tells the same Hebrew people to execute children who curse their father and mother, to not wear cloth made of two different materials, and to not get a tattoo; these are part of a long list of 613 civil, dietary and ritualistic laws laid out by Moses.   Why do we not stone our disobedient children and why do we wear polyester clothes and admire preachers with tattoos?  The answer I get most of the time is, “That was Mosaic Law, and it does not apply to today.”  OK, so why isn’t the same concept applied to homosexuality? One reason may be there are also passages in the New Testament that condemn homosexuality.”  The New Testament Scriptures are also part of a long list of transgressions including, gossip, slander, hatred, and coveting. Moreover, there are scholars who believe the Greek language suggests the 1Timothy and 1Corinthians passages are talking about men who forced young boys into homosexuality.  So, we can argue back and forth when we use the Bible as a Rule Book rather than a Book of Revelation.  When Christians use the Scriptures to prove the Gays wrong, we really don’t make sense and sound ignorant to unbelievers. The Law of Moses is not effective at all to deal with this issue. “Fighting” homosexuality as a Christian, I believe, is counterproductive. First, it takes the focus off of Christ and puts it on a particular sin.  We are to preach, the message of reconciliation, that, “God was in Christ reconciling Himself to the world not counting men’s sins against them.”(2Cor. 5)  As citizens of a secular nation, we have the right to vote, write congress, and exercise free speech on this issue, but we should do it privately as a citizen and not tie it to the cause of Christ.  Second, it is not our job to change or control behavior.  Here is a question to ponder. Let’s say we get homosexuals to agree that being gay is sinful, and they stop their behavior.  Does this save them? Do they now have eternal life? No! Morality does not save us; only Jesus Christ saves us.  Our job is to not only offer them the love of God by proclaiming the deepest manifestation of that love—the cross of Jesus Christ, but to offer the love of God by walking out that love with our actions--To love them like Christ. Jesus does not force, coerce or manipulate us to follow Him.  He offers us Himself and all that it entails: Salvation free, full and secure; His presence and Peace; and Empowerment to love others.  He loved others and let them decide to trust and follow Him. We are to offer that love with no strings attached.  We must be determined to preach nothing but Jesus Christ and Him crucified; our temptation will be to get pulled away from that to enter into an argument that can go around in circles. We are to believe the gospel for our Gay brothers and sisters just as we believe it for ourselves; believing the Gospel means we take our eyes off of our performance, behavior and religious laws, and fix them squarely on Jesus Christ and what He has done for us that we could not do for ourselves; we are to believe the same thing for our Gay brothers and sisters in Christ.  We are not to look at their behavior when considering if they are “right with God” or not.  We want to decide if they have a right to call themselves children of God or not, but God tells us plainly, “To all who received Him, to those who believed on His name, He gave the right to call themselves children of God.”  (John 1) 

3.     A Matter of Identity

Like all people, we must separate the gay community into our inner circle and our outer-circle. What those do outside our inner-circle is none of our business. What I mean by that is we are called to love others, and God puts those “others” in our lives. Our inner circle includes our immediate family and others we actively love in our church and community.  Actively loving someone means we have spent time, energy and resources loving them.  It means we are in a relationship with them.  This brings us to a very important point. Those outside our inner-circle are faceless people that we can easily label and make judgments concerning their behavior and lifestyle. However, the people in our inner-circle have names and faces and it is more difficult to stick to our idealistic principles we have so neatly built. I think Brandon Ambrasino, writer and blogger, says it best when talking about Jesus’ reaction to the woman caught in adultery: “It’s easy to despise an idea. But give that idea a human body, beat her up, and toss her down on the sand in front of you—do this, and then try to hate her. It's not that easy.”  So, what do we do when we have a face in front of us telling us they are gay?  I want to focus my thoughts on Pastors and other members of the body who are called to oversee, counsel and protect the flock of God. How should we react if a member of our flock “comes out” and admits, confesses or reveals they are Gay?  If we apply the Law of Moses, it is turn or burn; end of story.  As Ministers of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, however, we are called to love. We are not under law; in fact, we are dead to the law.  There is a skillful use of the law. Paul tells us in Romans 7 that the law is spiritual. Its role basically is to show a sinner their need for a Savior.  It is meant to drive us to Jesus Christ for salvation.  Once a person is saved, they are no longer under law, but under Grace, living under a New Covenant which is radically different from the Old Covenant.  I am talking about a one who professes faith in Christ and says they are Gay. What now? Traditionally, I have heard of 4 different approaches. If the person wants to change, each one has some merit.  I want to review those and offer a 5^th approach to helping those struggling with this very sensitive issue who may or may not be seeking change.

1.      Abstinence- Basically the feelings are not sinful but the actions are, so don’t engage in sexual behavior of any kind and you will be accepted.  This sounds good but it has not gotten to the heart of the issue. I know of some who have used this approach and it has worked for them as far as I know.  But in some cases, men or women lack self-control and “keep falling”. They fall into the all or nothing trap and when they “fall” they dive into all sorts of ungodly behavior.

2.     Turning from Sin – One is to renounce homosexuality altogether, pray, undergo exorcism if necessary and be “healed of their homosexuality.   This approach involves counseling, therapy, support groups and 12 Step programs.  Again, I have heard a few cases where this approach has worked.  However, I’ve also heard cases of those falling off the wagon and it getting worse each time. I have also heard of cases where this ended in suicide.

3.     Stay in the Closet – Don’t ask; don’t’ tell. The problem with this approach is that in some cases we are ignoring the elephant in the room, and we are called to walk in Truth.

4.     Complete Acceptance – You can be Gay and a Christian at the same time; we love and accept you and it is completely acceptable in God’s eyes.  This idea has grown in some of the more liberal churches.  Pastors are reaching out to the gay community explaining that Jesus accepts them just the way they are and love is all that matters. Some Pastors have even interpreted the passages that define homosexuality as sinful to say they mean something other than the traditional interpretation.  Needless to say, this has angered many in the Christian and caused division in the Body of Christ.  And, I believe it is just as judgmental as saying it is sinful. Saying an action or behavior is “good” or OK is a judgment. Declaring a person righteous based on the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ is the Gospel Truth! This leads to the best approach in my opinion.

5.     A Matter of Identity-The Gospel Applied

     The Gospel of Jesus Christ changes our identity. It changes us from a sinner to a saint; from a dead person to a person Alive to God; from a prodigal to a child of God; from a pauper to a Co-Heir with Christ. At the heart of it, what is true of Jesus is true of  a believer in Jesus Christ. A radical approach to using identity to address the issue was reported to me by a good friend of mine who is a pastor and teacher. The counseling session went something like this.

“I think I am gay.”

“Was Jesus Gay?” asked the pastor.

“Well, no,” replied the counselee.

“Then neither are you because what is true of you is true of Jesus!”

     This gets to the heart of the issue. Repentance literally means to change one’s thinking.   Biblical Repentance is changing our thinking about God, ourselves and our circumstances. Our entire paradigm shifts from seeing ourselves or our species as the center of the Universe to realizing we are a Christocentric Universe. That God is the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe.  It is all about Christ.  “To all who received Him, to those who believe in His Name He gave the right to become a child of God.” So, an application of the Gospel of Jesus Christ in this issue would be to get the counselee, after receiving God’s free gift of salvation, to see himself the way God sees him. He sees us the same way He sees Jesus Christ! We are to identify with Him.  A Gay person’s error up to this point is to identify themselves as Gay.  That has been their focus.  I don’t focus on my identity as a “straight male”, but rather, it is good for me to identify myself with and in Christ! Therefore, it would be good to ignore the issue of homo-sexuality -put it on the back burner.  Whether they are truly Gay or not is not the real issue.  We have to start from the premise that if they are in Christ, God has already changed them.  If anyone is in Christ, He is a New Creation. He is holy and blameless in God’s sight, and has been declared completely righteous apart from works (behavior).  Romans 6 teaches we have been united with Jesus Christ in His death, burial and resurrection. We have His righteousness, His standing before God and what is true of Jesus is true of us. These are spiritual realities that are outside of time and space. It is a daily struggle for all of us to believe this is true.   Emotions and our behavior follow thinking, so it may take a while for the believer to stop “feeling or acting gay.” In fact, his/her feelings may never change. To focus on changing behavior before changing beliefs is putting the cart before the horse.    I believe the Church as a whole has fallen flat on its face regarding the issue of teaching believers the truth of their New Identity which is what a new believer, a babe in Christ needs.  Instead, we have emphasized works, behavior and counting nickels and noses on Sunday mornings in order to build bigger buildings and programs.  Meanwhile, the babies in Christ are charging the gates of hell with water pistols seeming obnoxious to everyone around them.   And this is true concerning these babes (some Christians for years; nonetheless, still babes) when it comes to “taking a stand” against sin. They have not advanced the cause of Christ and His Gospel.  Now, the question on everyone’s mind is this, “What happens when you teach someone all of that, and they still want to be Gay?”  My answer is that I will not judge either way; I will teach and disciple a believer their new identity and leave the rest up to God. I will accept this one as a brother or sister, and quite frankly, I don’t want to know what they do in their bedroom; I certainly don’t talk about what goes on in mine! That is my answer.  I do know this much; we must be patient, gentle and kind; in other words, we must treat them the way God treats us, and that is with Unconditional Love. “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” One final thought.  After 911, the Rev. Jerry Falwell blamed 911 on Feminist and Gays. Now, before we beat up on the late Rev. Falwell, he did later regret his remarks, and we all know it is quite easy to look for blame and make mistakes during heightened emotion; nevertheless, that was his response which is shared by many a Christian.  An openly Gay Rugby player, Mark Bigham, was on the Flight 93. On that Plane, Mark Bigham along with Todd Beamer and others fought the terrorist crashing the plane, keeping the terrorist from causing more damage; The question I heard one “agnostic” radio announcer ask was this, “Who would you rather have been sitting next to on that plane; Jerry Falwell or Mark Bigham?”   The point is well taken and should challenge the Body of Christ to rethink our “stance against sin.” 

4.     A Doubtful Issue

     The Gay Community in general has fallen into the trap of playing the victim; one edge on the triangle of power is “playing the victim.”  Under our current political structure, one can gain a lot of power playing the victim; thus, if someone says they stand for traditional marriage, they are a mean, nasty homophobe, hateful predator.  Nothing can be further from the truth; I supported Chik-Fila day, and it had nothing to do with homosexuality; I supported it for freedom of speech. Just recently the Duck Dynasty Patriarch was suspended from the TV show for his remarks about homosexuality.  Labeling and hating anyone who disagrees with homosexuality does nothing for the gay community except make them look small and afraid.  Playing the victim card may get you somewhere politically, but politicians really aren’t your friends; they will turn on you in a minute, and if the political tide shifts in this country, there could be a great backlash.  Be tolerant of those that disagree.  Likewise, your demand not to judge has a double-edge because from where I am sitting, you do want to be judged.  You wish for a favorable judgment-you want others to say that what you are doing is right.  Saying something or someone is right is just as much a judgment as saying it is wrong. You want approval, but you must deal with the reality that you will not get it from everyone.  If you are non-religious or an atheist gay person, I have little to say and we can’t find common ground.  However, to insist that this behavior is perfectly normal and all must accept it is very narrow-minded; if religion is not on your side, the science and natural order of things is not on your side either. If it was “normal” it would mean all could be or do it without any implications on the human race, when in fact, if all became gay, the human race would die out; extremely hypothetical,  yes, but scientifically accurate nonetheless.  You do not have to tolerate the foolishness and evil coming from the likes of organizations like WBC that picket funerals and think they speak for God.  But please do not lump all Christians with that group, even the ones who respectfully disagree with you and exercise their right to free speech; when you do, you become what you claim you hate.  God is the source of all things, good, true and beautiful in this world.  Don’t use those who want to use God for their own ends as an excuse not to seek God on your own.  God loves you unconditionally, eternally and perfectly. He demonstrated that love by dying on the cross to take away your sin, and rising again to restore His Spiritual connection with you. You are free to accept it or reject it.

  I do wish to turn my attention to an ever increasing number of gay individuals that call themselves Christians, believe in God and study the Scriptures.  I know I am going out on a limb here with many of my brothers and sisters in Christ, but I want to take you to Peter’s rooftop vision.  His dream and vision from the Lord directly contradicted the Scriptures. It told him to kill and eat animals that were forbidden according to the Law of Moses.  It was a message to Peter to go to the Gentiles who were considered “unclean”.  Anyone could have said to Peter, “I don’t know what your Bible says, but my Bible says right here Peter, not to eat those foods.” And yes, they could have pointed to it saying, “It is right here, in black and white” .  It was a mystery and revelation to Peter and others that God now accepted the Gentiles and “all foods were clean.” Am I saying that God’s attitude towards homosexuality has changed? No, because I can’t speak for God in this issue, although, to be quite honest, I sometimes think this may be true.  One reason is Jesus said, “By their fruits you will know them, and all men will know you are my disciples if you love one another, and I have seen “good fruit” in the Gay Community.  From the gay man who took care of my ailing grandmother with unconditional love to an unnamed person whose gay friends rallied around her in hard times to show sacrificial, unconditional love as well as other examples has made me throw everything I thought I knew out the window.  I have decided to love and accept gay people unconditionally, and that means I will not insist they change before I love them.

  To the believing, Christian gay person, I would like you to admit that at the very least, Scripturally, homosexuality could be called a “doubtful issue” as outlined in Romans 14.  A doubtful issue is an issue that has no clear cut instructions in the Scriptures; one can consider it sinful while another does not. Basically, it speaks 0f the responsibility brothers and sisters in Christ have to one another - it that it is not all about you. You are called to love everyone, even the brother who thinks you are not in God’s will. And if you could at least admit that, you have your instructions on how to conduct yourselves as a Believer in Jesus Christ. Read it, and you will see your obligation; it is not all about you.  Let’s say that we categorize Christians who oppose Gay Marriage and homosexuality altogether as the weaker brother in this case.  Obviously, they are not as enlightened, evolved and tolerant as you.  Your obligation to them is to be discreet and not exercise “your right” to homosexuality in front of them, lest you make them stumble. You can’t insist he agree with you or “put it in his face.”  It may sound like this sends you “back to the closet,” but I think you need to see the big picture.  I believe the recent assault on the Boy Scouts of America is a prime example of the need for this approach. Basically the gay community wanted gay individuals to openly serve and volunteer in the Boy Scouts, and the BSA said “No.”  The BSA was immediately attacked as homophobics, bigots, etc.  This is self-centered for two reasons. First, it does not take into account child-brain development and a child’s ability to comprehend abstract concepts.  The parts of the brain that can think analytically, reason, and make judgments are not fully developed, recent research suggest, until 25 years of age.  These areas and skills do not really begin rapid growth until adolescence; therefore, until then, kids see things very concretely, and if they are in a two-parent, hetro-sexual home, that is the world to them.  To be taught otherwise can be confusing, and I strongly believe, that parents need to decide when and how they want to teach their children about sexual orientation and tolerance just as there is a time to talk about “the birds and the bees.” “Demanding” your rights in situations like this is self-centered and immature. In the church setting, parents will want to decide when they want to teach their children about this subject. So, “pushing” it on them and demanding your “rights” is selfish and is not in the spirit of Philippians 2 that tells us to give up our “rights”.  Second, it shows no tolerance and is behavior opposite of what the gay community is demanding for themselves.  I believe this is a good example of why one should follow the principles outlined in Romans 14.  You will enjoy loving fellowship with those who accept you, and the weaker brother will have to deal with his “conditional” love.  The Body of Christ is divided into one extreme or the other right now – There are more “Liberal Churches” that openly accept and marry Gay folks, but I have noticed many of these Churches have renounced Christ as Lord and Savior and preach a more social, man-centered that does not require faith in Christ.  Some even deny the Resurrection. Than you have the more “Conservative Churches” that I already mentioned in my article.  It is my desire for all men and women, gay or straight to Know Jesus Christ personally – to enter into this beautiful relationship with the Living God who was crucified, who did rise from the dead, and who now sits at the Right Hand of God.  Who wants to live with us, in us and through us! The Real Living God who has “reconciled himself to all men.”

I don’t think I’ve exhausted this subject, but I want to end on a personal note. I don’t support gay marriage as a Minister of the Gospel. I would not perform that ceremony. However, politically, I am a libertarian and believe each state should decide how they want to handle the issue, so I do not actively oppose it either; there are bigger fish to fry right now.  If you are gay, I will not judge you…that is my promise….I won’t condemn you, nor will I tell you that it is right. I will seek to get to know you as a person and am willing to walk with you on your journey to knowing the God Who Saves.